Best way to break video game addiction?

[Engnr]

Thank guys, really appreciate it.

 

[Fireblade]

Thank guys, really appreciate it.

I would like to point out Engie though, Engie, that you've effectively asked a bunch of alcoholics on tips on how to cut back on beer, by the way. Lol.

 

[Kenadian]

I would like to point out Engie though, Engie, that you've effectively asked a bunch of alcoholics on tips on how to cut back on beer, by the way. Lol.

I lol'd at this but it's completely untrue. While it is a fact many of us spend a lot of time ingame all of us function and remain responsible in life.

Engy's sons issue is that he's not able to function outside of his gaming environment and that is concerning.

 

[Solo4114]

Honestly, I think therapy is in order -- and by the way, no judgment on that. I've gone through therapy myself (albeit for unrelated stuff). It helps, or at least it can help if you find the right therapist for your kid.

Addiction issues are serious stuff, even without a chemical component (like cigs, drugs, booze, etc.). A lot of times, it's closely connected to depression issues, which, given what you wrote about your son having really odd sleeping habits, wouldn't surprise me either.

It's like Clint said: a man's got to know his limitations. You're not (as far as I know) a behavioral health specialist. You may well need one of them to help get to the core of this and start working towards something better. That process can take a good bit of time and a lot of uncomfortable work, but when it works, it's a lot more solid than just some quick-fix solution.

Good luck. I hope you can work this out for your kid and for your own sake. I can't imagine it's easy watching your son struggle with this stuff.

 

[tmtm]

Well said Solo.

 

[Engnr]

No, it's not easy to watch at all. But what kid doesn't see himself as on top of the world, at that age, with all the answers. All our parents told us that we did not have all the answers at that age, boy they were SO right.

He has admitted to me he has an addiction problem, just not sure if it wasn't to shut me up though.

 

[Kenadian]

He has admitted to me he has an addiction problem, just not sure if it wasn't to shut me up though.

To be honest Engr I would never even consider that. Once you start going down that road it can sew the seeds of mistrust in any relationship.

 

[Engnr]

I hope you are right. I know he lies, but he is a good kid, ummm, young man, just lost his way. His and Jez's relationship is really not good, he has stupidly said things that has her not trusting him at all. He won't listen to her and he lies to her, ugh. He says stupid things in anger, like I'm going to bust her computer, etc. So yea, teenage hormones are NOT fun. The whole step-parent thing just sucks all around, that maternal bond is not present. I just hate it all around, counseling yea, something I need to get going on, again.

 

[Kenadian]

I hope you are right. I know he lies, but he is a good kid, ummm, young man, just lost his way. His and Jez's relationship is really not good, he has stupidly said things that has her not trusting him at all. He won't listen to her and he lies to her, ugh. He says stupid things in anger, like I'm going to bust her computer, etc. So yea, teenage hormones are NOT fun. The whole step-parent thing just sucks all around, that maternal bond is not present. I just hate it all around, counseling yea, something I need to get going on, again.

If he thinks your just going to think he's lying all the time I don't see any motivation for ever telling the truth.

There are just so many things that can lead to this type of behavior and my guess is the online activity has little to do with it. He's using it as an escape for something, the question is what is he running from?

I know about this more than most because when I joined Wolf and met most of you I was suffering horribly with depression. I even had meds which did nothing but make me tired so I got off them.

All of it was due to the stresses involved in my family breaking up and my daughter no longer living with me. It goes against who I am as a person and I suffered horribly for it.

I'm sure most of you didn't even know this and I only bring it up now to give you some transparency in this topic. I dove into online Gaming, joined Wolf and never looked back and all of it was because I was masking my depression.

Eventually I left Wolf for a hiatus to create Lifesupporters and it was through that I actually faced my issue head on.

It took a lot of effort, a lot of years and a lot of tears to get to that point.

What you're seeing Engy may be no different.

 

[Engnr]

Oh I agree, he is depressed. It has everything to do with his mother.

And maybe me, he says I don't acknowledge his accomplishments enough. Something to work on, but there are two sides of the story there.

 

[PepsiChic]

I dont think hes addicted. I think hes an 18 year old boy. Im somewhat younger then majority of you guys, (sorry its true!) I dont think computer gaming was anywhere near as accessible or exciting when you were 18 compared to now. Hell at 18 I was moving off dial-up and moving onto "high speed" internet and trust me once I had that connection I spent pretty much 70% of my day sat in front of a computer, 20% drinking (drinking age in the UK is 18) and the last 10% sleeping, or if the bars were closed make that 30% sleeping.
Everything has access to internet now, consoles, computers, phones, tablets, and theres games readily available on all those devices too.

I dont think theres any hidden meaning behind his constant gaming/sleeping, I think its pretty typical of someone in his age group, hell my 16 year old brother in law pretty much lives that same kind of life but is slightly more involved at school though I expect that will change in a year or 2.

Theres obviously step-parent/step-child issues but again I dont think thats related to the gaming I think thats something entirely separate but does need to be worked on. Unfortunatly its a bit of a catch 22 situation, no trust from one party leads the other one to act out more because...well why bother if they wont believe you anyway? Been there done that myself, I ran rings around my parents and had them pulling their hair out.

If a 28 year old was spending a lot of time online playing video games, most people wouldnt think too much of it, thats an adult after all. at 18 your son is not a kid, and suggestions like taking his computer away, putting it in the family room, limiting his time, blocking the router...those are things that would be great suggestions for a kid...at 18 your son is an adult. Doing any of those things wont make a slight difference I promise you. Instead of a tug-of-war, catch 22, going round in circles of retaliation spiral....just sit and talk to him about your concerns, dont talk down to him, dont baby him, just be straight and honest with him without it being you talking to him like a child and telling him off. Tell him how it makes YOU feel, how its affecting the family dynamic, how your concerned about him, his grades, his sleep, his mental wellbeing. You may just be surprised at the response you get.

good luck! (and belated happy birthday!)

 

[Engnr]

We have been having long talks, but it's mostly me doing the talking, he seems to listen for the most part but not offer up much response. He does seem to be trying harder, but the proof will be graduating HS on time. I have faith, but he has his work cut out for him.

 

[Particle Noun]

Oh man, Engr, that sounds rough. My kids are still pretty little (10 and 5 1/2). My son (the 10 year old) loves games (mostly Minecraft, although having introduced him to Renegade X a few days ago, he's found a new obsession).

My wife and I have battles over 'screen time' limits. She would rather all screens be burned in a bonfire, and I'm much more lienient. And as such, I often project into the future and wonder if my son will be where you son is now.

I'm totally with you on the "best thing/hardest fucking thing in the world" bit about parenting. It is so rewarding and yet terrifying as well.

As others have said though, the fact that you care enough to worry and try and do something about it speaks volumes and volumes!!

 

[Fireblade]

Oh man, Engr, that sounds rough. My kids are still pretty little (10 and 5 1/2). My son (the 10 year old) loves games (mostly Minecraft, although having introduced him to Renegade X a few days ago, he's found a new obsession).

My wife and I have battles over 'screen time' limits. She would rather all screens be burned in a bonfire, and I'm much more lienient. And as such, I often project into the future and wonder if my son will be where you son is now.

I'm totally with you on the "best thing/hardest fucking thing in the world" bit about parenting. It is so rewarding and yet terrifying as well.

As others have said though, the fact that you care enough to worry and try and do something about it speaks volumes and volumes!!

Kids are now growing up in a technical world. Our local high school doesn't even use paper these days in some classes and everything is done on tablets. I think this is simply the age-old clash of new tech vs old parenting that has caused parents and kids to fight for generations.

 

[With A Vengeance]

Hey there. Haven't been by in a while as I'm actually trying to quit gaming other than multiplayer ones where other people are in the room. Mostly because of addiction and depression.

Found this article helpful in this regard:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/features/video-game-addiction-no-fun

Overall, I think the strongest point is that all of the time spent on video games has to be replaced. Preferably with a real world, socially and physically interactive hobby.